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What’s the Requisite to Be Happy? Uproot Chronic Depression and Channel Your Negative Emotions.

2021/12/25

It’s common that people experience negative emotions. Ffigure out where the negative emotion came from and analyze emotion. Find the hidden roots of your negative emotions is necessary.

You do not get what you want in life

I would like to quote from Christine Hassler “There is no perfect job nor perfect relationship.” But we can make it better with appreciation, patience and efforts.

When Life Don’t Turn Out What You’d Expected or Hoped…..

When life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, we might experience disappointment, lack of motivation, lethargy, depression, sense of loss, self-judgment, self- denial, anxiety, sense of frustration or even faith crisis.

Hassler invented the term “expectation hangover” in her book Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life and she classifies the most expectation hangovers into three categories:

Situational: Something doesn’t turn out the way we wanted it to or we don’t get the satisfactory result as we expected.
Interpersonal: We are disappointed by someone’s behavior or we’re “unpleasantly surprised” by other’s actions.
Self-imposed: You don’t live up to the standards or expectations you ’ve set for ourselves.

She asserts that the symptoms of expectation hangover is “lasting,” so we should not neglect it. She also addresses tips from to cope with own expectation hangover

Recognize your feelings
Do not compare our experiences to anyone else’s. Focus on your own experience.

She suggests doing a “release writing” to process your emotions. Write whatever comes to mind. The following is an example to show you how to do this.

I’m angry because I trusted someone who I should not put my trust to.

I’m sad because whenever the chance I was waiting for finally came, I became an anxious coward. I failed to grab the good opportunities in life.

I’m ashamed because I easily give up as I am going to reach my target.

I’m disappointed because female’s friendship is so vulnerable.

I’m scared because I am not sure whether I will regret for my life decisions years later or decades later. I am too afraid to make mistakes or bad decisions.

I feel guilty because I am not fully satisfied with my current life when God gives me so many blessings and miracles.

Situated in a consumerist and materialist society, people get more difficult to build a deep and trustworthy relationship with someone. As human beings, people have the desire to be understood. Nevertheless, most people rarely able to embrace the pleasure of being understood or being fully accepted or unconditionally loved. Many people feel a sense of loss because they fail to secure the recognition from their parents, friends and from the world. They feel like their self-value was not appreciated.

Some people keep their lives perfect on the outside, but indeed people can never be exempt from worries or troubles. Everyone has their life courses or life challenges. It could be something to do with personal health, the family issue or something else. Too many possibilities to make a list.

What makes most intelligent individuals fail to secure happiness? As Ernest Hemingway once said, “happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” People with a high IQ tend to be overanalyze everything and picture the unpredictable and the known, which might trigger possible undesirable stress.
There is a saying ‘Ignorance is bliss’? The less you understand, the more carefree you are and the more easily for you to be happy or satisfied with your life.
For those who are able to read people’s mind and hidden motives, they might be suffering from the disappointment of the interpersonal relationship or human nature.
Generally speaking, intelligent people have high standards for themselves and higher expectation for their lives as well. And they don’t want to settle for less.
As they push themselves to secure more achievements, they might find themselves that there’s a never-ending route for self-improvement. Thus, it explains why some people fail to be satisfied with what they own for the present. They might be troubled with the idea that “I am not good enough yet” or “I haven’t secured my desired target yet” or “ I could be better if I work harder”

In a sense, they are being harsh to themselves. They are being overly strict with themselves.
For some people, failures are but a commonplace thing. But for some people, failures are avoidable and even unforgivable. Some people take frustration in life for granted, and so don’t. Some take success for granted and some don’t.