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2021/12/25
We aren’t living a 90’s chick flick. You can’t point your finger at a girl and declare her yours. But some things can help you get a girlfriend.
Listen, girls are everywhere. However, if you are looking for a girlfriend, you don’t want just want any girl. You need someone you connect with on a deeper level. And you also want a significant other that will also be your friend. So, how do you get a girlfriend?
How to get a girlfriend 101
So, if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship, here are some helpful tips in helping you find a girlfriend, not just another night out.
#1 Are you ready? It really starts with you. You decide if you’re really ready for a girlfriend. I know, you may be thinking, but why do I have to check if I’m ready? You wanna know why? Because relationships, as great as they are, are a lot of work. It’s no longer just you. It’s we. Before you jump into the “we,” you need to make sure you’re able to commit to a relationship.
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Here are some simple questions to ask yourself:
– Are you over your ex-girlfriend?
– Is your life stable?
– Do you have your own personal goals for your future?
These questions may seem easy at first; however, if you’re unable to answer any of these questions, then maybe focus on yourself first, before getting into a relationship. Nothing is worse than dragging someone else along your journey of self-discovery—unless they’re willing. [Read: Defining true masculinity: What does it mean to be a man?]
#2 Figure out what you’re looking for. I can spend all night at the club pointing out 50 hot guys that I would not hesitate to date. But, of course, out of those 50, there is probably one or two I would actually invest my time. Why? Because not everyone is a match. Stop whining, I know you want every person to be into you, but sadly, that isn’t the case.
You need to figure out what type of person you’d be interested in getting to know. You don’t need to know specifics. For example, she has to like spinach *unless that’s some sort of fetish*. But you do need to have some basics down. For example, you’re interested in someone who likes the outdoors, is a non-smoker, and likes dogs.
That’s pretty basic and though it may not look like it, it actually covers a lot. Essentially, you’re interested in someone who’s nurturing, likes nature, and takes care of themselves. See? Not so hard. Once you have an idea of what type of person you’re looking for, the search becomes easier.
#3 Work on yourself. That being said, you need to know who you are. Don’t panic when reading that, I don’t mean you need to know 100% who you are, but you need to know what you like. Or even easier, you need to know what you don’t like.
Listen, people don’t like to hear this, but if you don’t work on yourself and grow as a person, you won’t end up with someone who values you. I was in a relationship and during that period I was very insecure and young which was great for him because I would do whatever he said. You need to know yourself and your boundaries so that you’ll find a girlfriend that respects you. [Read: 12 life questions to help you visualize your future]
#4 Be confident. Girls get turned on by a confident guy. Ryan Gosling? Brad Pitt? Yeah, sure, they’re attractive guys, but they sweat confidence. Confidence shows you’re emotionally stable, you know what you want, and you know who you are. If you’re wondering how you can be more confident, start by doing things that make you feel good and start to convey a positive outlook on life.
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#5 Look for love in the right place. You’re not going to find your girlfriend sitting at home playing WarCraft. Or maybe you will, who am I to judge? If you want to meet girls, most likely you’re going to have to leave your house. I know, it’s a big step, but it’s a crucial one. It’s much easier to meet people when you leave your house.
I mean, you can have Tinder and meet people that way, but it’s usually more fun when you go out and meet people when you least expect it. Like at a grocery store, swimming pool, or library. Join a sports club or book club, whatever club it is that you’re interested in—join it.
You’ll meet girls interested in the same subject, and that way, it’s much easier to get to know them because you already have something in common. You can also meet people at the club, I know it’s now considered a rare event to meet people at clubs, but it’s not impossible. [Read: 11 places to meet women who are girlfriend material]
#6 Master the art of flirting. Listen, as much as people say they’re tired of playing games, it’s a game. You tease them, they tease you. You touch them, they touch you back—it’s a game. You’ll get rejected hundreds of times, that’s normal, but with each rejection, you’ll learn what girls like to hear and what they don’t.
What keeps a girl’s attention? What makes them have a conversation with you? To answer those questions, you need to learn how to properly flirt. Flirting is what keeps the girl sitting beside you. Of course, you have to have things in common and find each other interesting to some level, but flirting is what makes that sexual chemistry stirring. Your goal is to make her feel like she’s the only girl in the room. [Read: Instant chemistry: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]
#7 Ask her on a date. If you’ve found a girl you’re interested in pursuing, pursue her! If you know her from school or she’s already a friend then just ask her straight up, “Do you want to go out with me on Saturday night?” Don’t start sweating or stuttering, just say it with confidence.
If you don’t know her, ask for her number and then give her a call, asking her out. If you’re nervous about the date, I get it, it takes a lot of balls to go and ask someone out. Don’t feel like you have to do something extravagant, like skydiving. Go to the beach, grab an ice cream, go for coffee. I would stay away from taking her to the movies, you spend most of the date facing the screen and not much time having an actual conversation. [Read: 30 fun, free and sexy date ideas totally worth trying]
#8 Be a good listener. This is essential. Everyone likes having someone to talk to, especially women. I cannot recall all the times when I would tell a story to my boyfriend and then he would just reply with “yeah, yeah,” as he’s texting. Don’t be that guy. That guy will not have a girlfriend at the end of the day. So, be attentive and listen. If you can’t handle hearing this girl talk, then she’s probably not a good match for you anyway.
#9 Don’t be desperate. If you’re really interested in a girl, the worst thing to do is pressure her and obsess about her. This isn’t Twilight, no one actually wants to be stalked by a guy. It’s not cool. So take it easy and just go with the flow. If you show that you’re really needing a girlfriend, she may think you just want to be with her because you want a relationship and who you’re with doesn’t really matter. [Read: Good vs. bad – What kind of guys do girls like?]
#10 Know what to do under the sheets. So, you’ve made it past the first couple of dates, and you want to move onto the next phase. There’s nothing worse than having sex with a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Sex is a huge factor in relationships and can be a deciding factor for a girl. I mean, if you and your girl do not connect in bed, the relationship won’t last.
The sexual connection is a must. When you’re going to have sex with her, ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. Communication is essential when having sex since everyone has different needs. [Read: I want to have sex with you: 15 ways to seduce without words]
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#11 Be ready to commit. Make sure you’re ready to commit to being in a relationship. Even if you have all the cards set up for you, don’t lead the other person on and then just drop them. Cut the mixed signals and be honest with yourself. I’ve been ghosted before, it’s not fun figuring out why the guy has suddenly gone missing.
If you want something bad enough, you’ll get it. So, don’t be shy in your pursuit to get a girlfriend. Get out there and find your next relationship.
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