七夕約會穿衣指南The Breathless Guide to Valentine』s Day Lingerie

當我聽到有人說她穿性感的內衣是「為自己」的時候我覺得很可（gao）愛（xiao）。這大概是一種偽賦權的想法。當我們在聲稱為自己化妝時，和把眼線液和緊身衣帶到了一個荒無人煙的孤島上無人欣賞一樣阿Q。當我獨自一人的時候，我會穿著寬鬆看起來很大媽的米色內褲，舒服到爆炸？？。當然內衣有一個非常具體的目的：為了增強色情體驗。如果它有磨損，被另一個人看到（視情況而定），在我看來，是個偉大的災難。然而，這並不是說內衣不能在（情愛部分）讓大家加分。

I』ve always found the pseudo-empowerment idea that women should wear sexy underwear 「for themselves」 really ridiculous. It』s like when people claim they wear makeup for themselves. As if I』m going to bring my liquid eyeliner and corset to a deserted island. When I』m home alone, I exclusively wear hideous, beige granny panties, and I feel amazing(ly comfortable). Lingerie has a very specific purpose, which is to enhance the erotic experience. It』s worn to be seen by another person—or persons, as the case may be—and there』s just no way around that, in my opinion. However, that』s not to say lingerie doesn』t equally benefit everyone involved.

穿著性感的東西會讓你感覺更性感。當穿上緊身衣的時候，擠擠就有溝了吧，變得更加自信和更容易興奮也是意料中的事。接下來的啪啪啪氣氛會更好，這種興奮也更容易調動起雙方的恰當情緒。當然，相反情況也是同時成立的（你們懂的）。不管怎麼說，情人節就是一個俗氣的過度計劃的性愛狂歡。一年中也就這個日子需要從頭髮到腳趾甲都要仔細「處理」好，所以不同類型的內衣也會帶來不同的效果。如果你穿錯了內衣，孤獨終老也是你的宿命？？。

Wearing something sexy makes you feel sexier. When I』m in beautiful lingerie and everything』s been sufficiently pushed and squeezed, I become more confident and aroused, which is of course makes the sexual experience better for my partner too. Excitement and inhibition in the bedroom are contagious. Valentine』s Day, however, is a chance to indulge in cheesy, overly planned sexual encounters. On no other day of the year is it more appropriate to match your headband to your nail polish to your thong. But different types of lingerie create different effects. And if you choose the wrong lingerie, you will die alone.

1

有一個頗受歡迎的說法：「如果當她脫下衣服的時候內衣褲是匹配的，那麼決定要不要做愛的就不是你（她會有領先的主動權）。」如果想在V-Day尋找一次性的滿足感，那麼Dolce Gabbana這款可以讓你的lover知道是誰應該在這個遊戲中佔領主動權。另外，高腰內褲使大家看起來像一個（性感）尤物。

There』s a popular meme that says, 「If her panties match her bra when you take her clothes off, it wasn't you who decided to have sex.」 If you』re looking for a one-night stand for V-Day, this Dolce ensemble will let your new lover know who』s calling the shots. Also, high-waisted panties make everyone look like a bombshell.

2

如果你和一個柏拉圖式的朋友一起度過情人節，在愛情喜劇面前你要活生生吞下自己的炙熱感情。穿著性感可能會使事情有點尷尬。最好至少有一個全覆蓋的內褲，或一個可愛（非掠奪性）睡衣套裝。

If you』re spending Valentine』s with a platonic friend, eating your feelings in front of a bad rom-com, wearing sexy lingerie might make things a little awkward. Best to go with at least a full-coverage panty, or a cute (read: non-predatory) pajama set.

3

如果你正在為V-Day計劃一個三人組（口味好像有點重），那麼你也可以全力以赴，穿上一條帶有匹配高跟鞋的粉紅色花邊連身褲。狂歡中最重要的是要的穿的美上天。

If you』re planning a threesome for V-Day, you might as well go all-out and wear a pink lace jumpsuit with matching stilettos. It』s important to always be the best dressed person at the orgy.

4

一段關係的開始階段可能是很心累的，你需要在每一處都做好努力，高跟鞋啊，處理好不美觀的毛髮，走心的談話。。。好多要處理的事情。但是如果你想把這段關係往前推進，進入一個在對方面前做本質的自己的階段（即便在對方面前摳腳放屁也不覺得尷尬）那麼這是你完美的情人節的裝備。

The beginning stages of a relationship can be exhausting, because you always have to make an effort—heels, bikini waxes, actual conversations . . . it』s a lot to deal with. If you』re looking to segue out of that phase, and into the phase where you』re allowed to act like slobs in front of each other, this is the perfect Valentine』s outfit for you.

5

如果你想生活在五十度灰的世界里，角色扮演就是這樣。

We』re living in a Fifty Shades world, and role play is in. Pair this apron with little else.

6

能和「男朋友」的襯衫一樣可以快速勾起對方慾望媲美的內衣估計只有這件了。這個經典look讓你在首次約會時候全壘打不是夢。

There』s something so erotic about the juxtaposition of skimpy underwear with a men』s button-up. This classic look will seal the deal on any first date.

7

如果你還沒有準備好下一步怎麼走，有時候放慢腳步也是一個好主意。請隨身攜帶一件可愛的運動型棉質內衣套裝。

Sometimes it』s nice to take it slow. If you』re not ready to go all the way, keep it casual with a cute, sporty cotton underwear set.

8

如果你有一段長期穩定的關係，並不意味著你應該忽視情人節。臘雞食品擺滿茶几追著網劇的生活可以打破下。用一套紅艷艷的性感紅色蕾絲內衣替代AP的緊身套裝是個明智選擇。

Just because you』re in a long-term relationship doesn』t mean you should disregard Valentine』s Day. Break the routine of eating Seamless junk food while lying down in front of Net-play, and put on an impossibly sexy, red lace AP lingerie set.

9

如果很不幸，你孤身一人，不要忘記你還有按摩棒，穿這個會蘇服。

Pair with a vibrator for the perfect night in.

10

有一個炮友的最好的事情是，你被允許像你想要的那樣有趣，沒有任何的風險。所以，為什麼不出現穿著像一個性感的聚光燈？

The best thing about having a FWB（friends with benefit） is you』re allowed to be as playful as you want, and there』s no real risk involved. Why not show up dressed like a sexy flasher?

11

如果你想玩得很酷，不需要刻板印象里內衣的那些多餘的飄帶，鏈條，線束。你希望你的性感看起來毫不費力，不像你需要三個女朋友的幫助，才能穿進去一件塑身衣。那麼，這樣看起來會讓你感到自信，親密，但仍然完全舒服。

If you』re trying to play it cool, any lingerie that involves excessive straps, chains or a harness is out of the question. You want your sexiness to appear effortless, not like you needed the assistance of three of your girlfriends to even get into your underwear in the first place. This look will make you feel confident, intimidating, yet still totally comfortable.

該說的都說了，總之，希望你xing福啊。

公布禮品獲獎名單時間

請下面幾位小仙女及時在後來留地址，寶寶要給大家寄送上次德美樂嘉的小禮品啦。請念到名字的童鞋舉個手：

@Catherine @解樹君@文藝老少年 @小蜜蜂 @雷子 @MZ @趙公子 @Nicw @Cynthia 。總共送出禮物12份。前面三位真愛粉獲得雙倍禮物潔面啫喱？噴霧各一枚。

參考資料來源：www.Slutever.com

圖片：源自網路