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Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking What a grand world this would be If the men were all transported Far beyond the Northern Sea Oh, my goodness gracious Rachel What a strange world this would be What a great life girls would lead If they had no men about them None to tease them, none to heed Rachel, Rachel, I've been thinking Men would have a merry time If at once they were transported Far beyond the salty brine Reuben, Rueben, stop your teasing If you've any love for me I was only just a-fooling As I thought, of course, you'll see Rachel, if you'll not transport me I will take you for my wife And I'll split with you my money Every payday of my life