輕語者 ^ 第28期：愛與被愛，大多是傷害

因為愛，所以開始傷害

今日關鍵詞： Belove

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028.The Lover and the Beloved

施愛者和被愛者

First of all,love is a joint experience between two persons - but the fact that it is ajoint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the twopeople involved.

愛,首先是兩個人之間共同的一種經歷。但是，這並不意味著相關的兩個人的經歷是相似的。

There are thelover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often thebeloved is only a stimulus for all the stored up love which has lain quietwithin the lover for a long time hitherto.

其中，一方是施愛者，另一方則是被愛者。他們兩個來自不同的世界。通常，被愛者只是一個刺激因素，激發起施愛者長期隱藏在心底的愛。

And somehowevery lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing.He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makeshim suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house hislove within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole newinward world - a world intense and strange, complete in himself.

而每一位施愛者都明白這一點。在靈魂深處,他感到他的愛是孤獨的。他會逐漸地認識到一種新奇而又陌生的孤寂。而且，正是這一認識使他忍受痛苦。因此，施愛者只有惟一一種選擇。他必須儘可能地把愛珍藏在心底。他必須自己創造一個全新的內心世界——一個深切、陌生而卻完整的世界。

Let it be addedhere that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young mansaving for a wedding ring - this lover can be a man, woman, child, or indeed anyhuman creature on this earth.

需要補充說明的是，我們談論的施愛者未必是一個為買結婚戒指而儲蓄的年輕人——他可能是男人、女人或者是孩子，甚或是世界上任何一個人。

Now, the belovedcan also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulusfor love. A man may be a doddering great grandfather and still love only astrange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past.The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasyheaded, and given to evil habits.

當然，被愛者也同樣可能是任何類型的人。最怪異的人可能會激起愛的漣漪。一位步履蹣跚的曾祖父可能依舊愛戀著二十年前的一個下午在街頭見到的一位陌生女郎。一位牧師也許會愛上一個墮落的女人。被愛者也可能奸詐、油頭滑腦，而且沉溺於各種惡習。

Yes, and thelover may see this as clearly as anyone else - but that does not affect theevolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of alove which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies in theswamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or ajabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simpleidyll.的確，施愛者對此可能像其他人一樣了解得一清二楚。但是,這絲毫不影響他的愛情的進展。一個很平凡的人可能成為一個瘋狂、放縱而美麗的愛的對象，就像沼澤地里的毒百合;一個善良的人可能激發起一種粗暴而有損人格的愛；或者一個語無倫次的瘋子也可能使某個人充滿溫柔而純樸的浪漫情懷。

Therefore, thevalue and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

因此，任何一種愛的價值和品質只能取決於施愛者本身。

It is for thisreason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wantsto be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state ofbeing beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover,and with the best of reasons.

正是基於這一原因，我們當中的大多數人寧願去愛而不是被人所愛。幾乎每個人都想成為愛的給予者。而事實上，對許多人來說,處於被愛的情形在內心深處是難以承受的。被愛者總是害怕進而憎恨施愛者，而這種心理的產生有其充分的理由。

For the lover isforever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possiblerelation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.

因為，施愛者總是在試圖不斷地使被愛者尊嚴無存。他總是企盼能夠與被愛者建立任何可能的某種關係，即使這一經歷結果只能給他招致痛苦。

曾經有過愛的你們

仔細想想

你的愛情，還健康嗎？

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