淚目推薦 | 人生必修的14堂課

剛剛過去的21號是世界漸凍人日。所謂「漸凍人」是指這樣一個群體：他們的身體如同被冰雪凍住，今天是腿，明天是手，後天是軀幹，最後連牽動嘴角向上的肌肉也被冰凍住，這種讓人全身無法活動的疾病人們稱為「漸凍症」。

「漸凍症」學名為肌萎縮側索硬化（ALS：Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis），也被稱為盧·格里克氏症（Lou Gehrig』s disease：盧·格里克是美國棒球運動員，患此症病故。后此疾病以他的名字命名）或運動神經元病（MND：Motor neurone disease），它是一種病因不明且不可治癒的低發性疾病。雖然相比大數據，「漸凍症」相對患病率低，但目前國內患者已超過20萬人。由於沒有治癒藥物且發病速度極快，大部分確診病人的存活壽命為2-4年，活過10年以上的病人不超過10%。

2014年全球掀起了為「漸凍症」患者募集捐款的「冰桶挑戰」（Ice bucket challenge），風靡一時的活動讓「漸凍人」這個群體走入了大眾視野，讓大家開始了解這種長期被忽視的疾病。

今天小編要推薦的，是1997年出版的圖書《相約星期二》（Tuesdays with Morrie），即使是在20年後的今天，這本書依舊名列亞馬遜暢銷書排行榜。

這本書不是一碗心靈雞湯，它是一本稱得上殘忍的生活寫實。在書中，你會讀到ALS疾病的可怕，會感受到患病之人的無奈、絕望和妥協，當然，你也會聆聽、學習和理解一位走到生命盡頭的老人所講授的何謂「過好這一生」。

ALS，比癌症更殘忍的絕症

ALS is like a lit candle: it melts your nerves and leaves your body a pile of wax. Often, it begins with the legs and works its way up. You lose control of your thigh muscles, so that you cannot support yourself standing. You lose control of your trunk muscles, so that you cannot sit up straight. By the end, if you are still alive, you are breathing through a tube in a hole in your throat, while your soul, perfectly awake, is imprisoned inside a limp husk, perhaps able to blink, or cluck a tongue, like something from a science fiction movie, the man frozen inside his own flesh. This takes no more than five years from the day you contract the disease.

ALS就如同一支點燃的蠟燭，它不斷融化你的神經，使你的軀體變成一堆蠟。通常它從腿部開始，然後慢慢向上發展。等你不能控制大腿肌肉時，你就無法再站立起來。等你控制不了軀幹的肌肉時，你便無法坐直。最後，如果你還活著的話，你只能通過插在喉部的一根管子呼吸，而你清醒的神志則被禁錮在一個軟殼內。或許你還能眨眨眼睛，動動舌頭，就像科幻電影 里那個被冰凍在自己肉體內的怪物一樣。這段時間不會超過五年。

ALS，讓人失去一切直至死亡

As my old professor searched for answers, the disease took him over, day by day, week by week. He backed the car out of the garage one morning and could barely push the brakes. That was the end of his driving.

He kept tripping, so he purchased a cane. That was the end of his walking free.

He went for his regular swim at the YMCA, but found he could no longer undress himself. So he hired his first home care worker-a theology student named Tony-who helped him in and out of the pool, and in and out of his bathing suit. In the locker room, the other swimmers pretended not to stare. They stared anyhow. That was the end of his privacy.

...

"My friends, I assume you are all here for the Social Psychology class. I have been teaching this course for twenty years, and this is the first time I can say there is a risk in taking it, because I have a fatal illness. I may not live to finish the semester.

"If you feel this is a problem, I understand if you wish to drop the course."

He smiled.

And that was the end of his secret.

就在他尋找答案時，疾病卻日復一日、周復一周地侵蝕著他。一天早晨，他把車子從車庫裡倒出來，因踩不住剎車而只好熄掉了引擎。從此他便告別了駕駛。

他經常絆倒，於是他買了根拐杖。從此他便告別了正常的行走。

他仍定期去青年會游泳，但發現自己換衣服有了困難，於是他雇了個家庭護理工——一位名叫托尼的神學系學生——他幫莫里進出水池，幫他更換衣服。更衣室里，人們 裝著不去注視他。但他們還是看到了。從此他便告別了自己的隱私 。

......

"我的朋友們，我想你們來這兒是為了上社會心理課的。這門課我已經教了二十年，這是我第一次想說，修這門課有點冒風險，因為我得了絕症。我也許活不到這個學期的結束。

"如果你們覺得這是個麻煩而想放棄這門課，我完全能夠理解，」

他笑了。

從此他的病便不再是秘密。

死亡，讓我們審視人生

關於人生，我們可以聊聊什麼

1

The First Tuesday

We Talk About the World

第一個星期二：談論世界

--As Connie took the plates away, I noticed a stack of newspapers that had obviously been read before I got there.

--You bother keeping up with the news, I asked?

--"Yes," Morrie said. "Do you think that's strange? Do you think because I'm dying, I shouldn't care what happens in this world?"

--Maybe.

--He sighed. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't care. After all, I won't be around to see how it all turns out.""But it's hard to explain, Mitch. Now that I'm suffering, I feel closer to people who suffer than I ever did before. The other night, on TV, I saw people in Bosnia running across the street, getting fired upon, killed, innocent victims . . . and I just started to cry. I feel their anguish as if it were my own. I don't know any of these people. But-how can I put this?-I'm almost . . . drawn to them.」

--等康尼把盤子端走後，我注意到了一疊報紙，顯然他在我到來之前讀過它們。

--你還在關心時事？我問。

--"是的，"莫里說。"你覺得奇怪嗎？你認為一個快要死的人就不必再去關心發生在這個世界上的事了？"

--也許。

--他嘆了口氣，"也許你是對的。也許我是不該去關心它們了。畢竟我活不到那個時候了。」 "但這又很難解釋得清，米奇。正因為我在遭受痛苦，我就更容易想到那些比我還要痛苦的人。那天晚上，我在電視上看見波斯尼亞那兒的人在大街上奔逃，被槍打死，都是些無辜的受害者……我不禁哭了。我感受到了他們的痛苦，就像感受自己的一樣。我並不認識他們當中的任何人，可是--該怎麼說呢？--我非常……同情他們。"

2

The Second Tuesday

We Talk About Feeling Sorry for Yourself

第二個星期二：談論自憐

--I asked Morrie if he felt sorry for himself.

--"Sometimes, in the mornings," he said. "That's when I mourn. I feel around my body, I move my fingers and my hands-whatever I can still move-and I mourn what I've lost. I mourn the slow, insidious way in which I'm dying. But then I stop mourning."

--Just like that?

--"I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life. On the people who are coming to see me. On the stories I'm going to hear. On you-if it's Tuesday. Because we're Tuesday people."

--我問莫里他是否自哀自憐。

--"有時候會的，在早上，"他說。"那是我悲哀的時刻。我觸摸自己的身體，移動手和手指--一切還能動彈的部位--然後為自己失去的感到悲哀。我悲哀這種緩慢、不知不覺的死法，但隨後我便停止了哀嘆，"

--這麼快？

--"需要的時候我就大哭一場。但隨後我就去想生活中仍很美好的東西，想那些要來看我的人，想就要聽到的趣事，還想你--如果是星期二的話。因為我們是星期二人。"

3

The Third Tuesday

We Talk About Regrets

第三個星期二：談論遺憾

--I wondered what regrets he had once he knew his death was imminent. Did he lament lost friends? Would he have done much differently? Selfishly, I wondered if I were in his shoes, would I be consumed with sad thoughts of all that I had missed? Would I regret the secrets I had kept hidden?

--When I mentioned this to Morrie, he nodded. "It's what everyone worries about, isn't it? What if today were my last day on earth?"..."Mitch," he said, "the culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks-we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?"

--我不禁在想，當他知道死亡已經臨近時他會有什麼樣的遺憾。他悲嘆逝去的友人？他會重新改變生活方式？暗地裡我在想，要是我處在他的位置，我會不會滿腦子都是苦澀的念頭，抱憾即將失去的一切？抱憾沒有吐露過的秘密？

--當我把這些想法告訴莫里時，他點點頭。"這是每個人都要擔心的，不是嗎？如果今天是我的死期，我會怎麼樣？...... "米奇，"他說，"我們的文化不鼓勵你去思考這類問題，所以你只有在臨死前才會去想它。我們所關注的是一些很自私的事情：事業，家庭，賺錢，償還抵押貸款，買新車，修取暖器--陷在永無止境的瑣事里，就為了活下去。因此，我們不習慣退後一步，審視一下自己的生活問，就這些？這就是我需要的一切？是不是還缺點什麼？"

4

The Fourth Tuesday

We Talk About Death

第四個星期二：談論死亡

"The truth is, Mitch," he said, "once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

"事實是，米奇，"他說，"一旦你學會了怎樣去死，你也就學會了怎樣去活。"

5

The Fifth Tuesday

We Talk About Family

第五個星期二：談論家庭

--Sure, people would come visit, friends, associates, but it's not the same as having someone who will not leave. It's not the same as having someone whom you know has an eye on you, is watching you the whole time. This is part of what a family is about, not just love, but letting others know there's someone who is watching out for them.

--當然，會有人來探望的，朋友，同事。但他們和不會離去的家人是不一樣的。這跟有一個始終關心著你、和你形影不離的人不是一回事。 這就是家庭的部分涵義，不僅僅是愛，而且還告訴別人有人守護著你。

6

The Sixth Tuesday

We Talk About Emotions

第六個星期二：談論感情

--Take any emotion-love for a woman or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

--But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, `All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.『

--接受所有的感情--對女人的愛戀，對親人的悲傷，或像我所經歷的：由致命的疾病而引起的恐懼和痛苦。如果你逃避這些感情--不讓自己去感受。經歷--你就永遠超脫不了，因為你始終心存恐懼。你害怕痛苦，害怕悲傷，害怕愛必須承受的感情傷害。

--可你一旦投入進去，沉浸在感情的汪洋里，你就能充分地體驗它，知道什麼是痛苦，什麼是悲傷。只有到那時你才能說，'好吧，我已經經歷了這份感情，我已經認識了這份感情，現在我需要超脫它。'

7

The Seventh Tuesday

We Talk About the Fear of Aging

第七個星期二：談論對衰老的恐懼

--As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.

--隨著年齡的增加，你的閱歷也更加豐富。如果你停留在二十二歲的年齡階段，你就永遠是二十二歲的那般淺薄。要知道，衰老並不就是衰敗。它是成熟。接近死亡並不一定是壞事，當你意識到這個事實后，它也有十分積極的一面，你會因此而活得更好。

8

The Eighth Tuesday

We Talk About Money

第八個星期二：談論金錢

--Mitch, if you're trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.

--如果你想對社會的上層炫耀自己，那就打消這個念頭，他們照樣看不起你，如果你想對社會的底層炫耀自己，也請打消這個念頭，他們只會忌妒你。身份和地位往往使你感到無所適從。唯有一顆坦誠的心方能使你悠然地面對整個社會。

9

The Ninth Tuesday

We Talk About How Love Goes On

第九個星期二：談論愛的永恆

--As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.

--只要我們彼此相愛，並把它珍藏在心裡，我們即使死了也不會真正地消亡。你創造的愛依然存在著。所有的記憶依然存在著。你仍然活著--活在每一個你觸摸過愛撫過的人的心中。"

10

The Tenth Tuesday

We Talk About Marriage

第十個星期二：談論婚姻

--There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

--愛情和婚姻還是有章可循的：如果你不尊重對方，你們的關係就會有麻煩；如果你不懂怎樣妥協，你們的關係就會有麻煩；如果你們彼此不能開誠布公地交流，你們的關係就會有麻煩；如果你們沒有共同的價值觀，你們同樣會有麻煩。你們必須有相同的價值觀。

11

The Eleventh Tuesday

We Talk About Our Culture

第十一個星期二：談論我們的文化

--The problem, Mitch, is that we don't believe we are as much alike as we are. Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about that family the way we care about our own. But believe me, when you are dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning-birth-and we all have the same end-death. So how different can we be?

--問題是，米奇，我們不相信我們都是同樣的人。白人和黑人。天主教徒和新教徒。男人和女人。如果我們彼此不覺得有差異，我們就會樂意加入人類的大家庭，就會像照顧自己的小家一樣去關心那個大家庭。相信我，當你快要死的時候，你會認識到這是對的。我們都有同樣的開始--誕生--我們也有同樣的結局--死亡。因此，我們怎麼會有大的區別呢？

12

The Twelfth Tuesday

We Talk About Forgiveness

第十二個星期二：談論原諒

--It's not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch," he finally whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves."

--Ourselves?

--Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.

--我們不僅需要原諒別人，米奇，"他又說道，"我們也需要原諒自己。"

--原諒自己？

--是的，原諒自己應該做而沒有做的事。你不應該陷在遺憾的情緒中無法自拔，這對你是沒有益處的。

13

The Thirteenth Tuesday

We Talk About the Perfect Day

第十三個星期二：談論完美的一天

--If you had one day perfectly healthy, I asked? What would you do?

--"Twenty-four hours?" Twenty-four hours.

--"Let's see... I'd get up in the morning, do my exercises, have a lovely breakfast of sweet rolls and tea, go for a swim, then have my friends come over for a nice lunch. I'd have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their issues, talk about how much we mean to each other.

--"Then I'd like to go for a walk, in a garden with some trees, watch their colors, watch the birds, take in the nature that I haven't seen in so long now.

--"In the evening, we'd all go together to a restaurant with some great pasta, maybe some duck-I love duckand then we'd dance the rest of the night. I'd dance with all the wonderful dance partners out there, until I was exhausted. And then I'd go home and have a deep, wonderful sleep."

--That's it?

--"That's it."

--It was so simple. So average. I was actually a little disappointed. I figured he'd fly to Italy or have lunch with the President or romp on the seashore or try every exotic thing he could think of. After all these months, lying there, unable to move a leg or a foot-how could he find perfection in such an average day?

--Then I realized this was the whole point.

--如果你有完全健康的一天，你會怎麼做？我問。

--"二十四小時？"

--二十四小時。

--"我想想……早晨起床，進行晨練，吃一頓可口的。有甜麵包卷和茶的早餐。然後去游泳，請朋友們共進午餐，我一次只請一兩個，於是我們可以談他們的家庭，談他們的問題，談彼此的友情。

--"然後我會去公園散步，看看自然的色彩，看看美麗的小鳥，盡情地享受久違的大自然。

--"晚上，我們一起去飯店享用上好的義大利麵食，也可能是鴨子--我喜歡吃鴨子--剩下的時間就用來跳舞。我會跟所有的人跳，直到跳得精疲力竭。然後回家，美美地睡上一個好覺。"

--就這些？

--"就這些。"

--太普通了。毫不奢侈。我聽了真有些失望。我猜想他會飛去義大利與總統共進午餐，或去海邊，或想方設法去享受奇異。奢侈的生活。幾個月躺下來，連腳都無法動彈--他竟然在極普通的一天里找到了那份完美。

--但隨後我意識到了這就是一切問題的答案所在。

14

The Fourteenth Tuesday

We Say Good-bye

第十四個星期二：道別

--Finally, on the fourth of November, when those he loved had left the room just for a moment-to grab coffee in the kitchen, the first time none of them were with him since the coma began-Morrie stopped breathing.

--And he was gone.

--I believe he died this way on purpose. I believe he wanted no chilling moments, no one to witness his last breath and be haunted by it, the way he had been haunted by his mother's death-notice telegram or by his father's corpse in the city morgue.

--I believe he knew that he was in his own bed, that his books and his notes and his small hibiscus plant were nearby. He wanted to go serenely, and that is how he went.

--最後，在十一月四日，當他的親人剛離開房間一會兒--去廚房拿咖啡，這也是他昏迷后第一次沒有人在他身邊--莫里停止了呼吸。

--他走了。

--我相信他是有意這麼做的。他不想有凄慘的時刻，不想讓人看見他斷氣的情形從而抹不去這可怕的記憶，就像他無法抹去那份宣告母親死亡的電報和陳屍所里父親的屍體留給他的可怕記憶一樣。

--我相信他知道他是在自己的床上；他的書，他的筆記，他的小木槿都在他的身邊，他想安寧地離去，他確實走得很安寧。